43 Years Young or Is It Old?

How have I changed since moving to England and adding another year to my life? One of the most obvious is that I've added lots of black to my wardrobe. Years ago, my mom insisted I have my colors analyzed (you know check skin tone, eye, natural hair color) I am an 'autumn' which means I look best in colors like burnt orange, mustard yellow, cantelope,teal green, yellow, sienna. (no, these are not Crayola crayons) Black is not one of 'my colors' but it is now - black shirts, jacket, boots, scarf; I'm fitting in over here. Not that they don't wear bright colors because you do see some lively colors but drab is popular here. (I say drab just because I'm totally southernized when it comes to colors.)

Another change is that after 20+ years of frying my hair daily with curlers, I'm going au naturale! The houses here are very dry due to the radiators so my hair was becoming quite frazzled therefore, I decided to drop the curlers. How fun is that? Every once in a while I pull out the ole curlers or even more shocking, I use AC's hair straightener. Funny thing how fashion changes our perception of what looks 'good'. When I look back through our photo albums and see pictures of my hair, I cringe and ask, "Why did you let me think that looked good? Ugh, it was awful!"

I remember my first perm in 8th grade. We didn't have the money to get a professionally done perm so Mom decided she would do it. (You can already imagine where this is going) We got the 'kit' from Eckerd's, read all of the directions and we were good to go. When Mom was done, I looked like a freak or someone who had stuck their finger in a light socket. I, of course, cried and never wanted to see anyone. It was so frizzy, kinky. (It was the 80's so you get the picture) Anyway, it was so bad my dad sent me flowers to appease the disaster. We should've just used the money from the flowers to pay for a real perm instead. Oh well, I can laugh about it now and it was sweet of my dad to sympathize with me. All that to say, I've gone from 'poofy' to 'flat'. (This picture of me and my brother, David, was from the 80's Farah Fawcet era. I didn't quite look like Farah though I tried with the hair thing.)

I've slowed down a bit because of the schedule change largely from not homeschooling. I've read more which has been nice. I'm more able to sit and 'give a think' as they say here. My family says I'm cooking more but really it's just that I'm cooking more from scratch which is just out of necessity. I communicate more in writing than I ever had time to do. In a new culture, away from what is familiar and comfortable, I'm being stretched which causes growth. I don't ever want to get more 'settled' in my ways and self absorbed which appears to be a natural decline of human nature so being 'uncomfortable' is a good fight against that. It seems that when you can control life or manage it to the point that you don't have to be uncomfortable and stretched, you can get stuck in a rut and think life is all about you.

I suppose I've got more wrinkles and a few more gray hairs to document my new year. Thankfully, I am content where I am and that makes each day brighter. The Lord has been exceedingly gracious to me this year and I feel and see the effects.

Thank you for the thoughtful cards, emails, gifts and phone calls wishing me, "Many happy returns of the day" as Pooh would say. It was indeed.

British Terms of Endearment

On this Valentine's Day , which by the way is not nearly as jacked up as it is in the States, I'm sharing some British terms of endearment we've been introduced to. Over here, you might be called words like 'pet', 'love', 'ducky', 'petal' and 'chicken'. You could be called these words by people you don't even know and irregardless of gender. So if you want someone to be 'gobsmacked' call them 'pet' or 'petal'.

Taste of Home

I have come to realize that there are certain foods that are 'comfort foods' to you. Though that probably isn't the most healthy way of looking at food, it is true. Spaghetti, mac -n- cheese, baked potato soup, pancakes, sweet tea, chocolate chip cookies; these are some foods that make us relax a bit because they are familiar.

Each week I head to the grocery armed with my list for my chosen recipes. I have scoured the stores looking for American products or equivalent ones. After browsing all the aisles at least once, I break down and ask, "do you have...?" They usually stare at their colleague, then at me and tell me they've never heard of it, to which I reply a courteous, 'thank you'. At this point, I either scrap the recipe or try to improvise. I substituted polenta for cornmeal, Thai green chilies for Mexican ones -whoah, Thai chilies are MUCH hotter which we didn't find out til we bit into our enchiladas. When we first moved here it took a full 90 minutes to do a grocery run trying to find things. They categorize differently like I finally found poppy seeds in the nut section at a store about 30 minutes from here. They also had Oreos and plain M&Ms. Often the kids would get in the car after school and ask how my day was. I'd say, "Great, I found....pumpkin or whatever food treasure I had discovered." They weren't as excited as I was over my finds but I had to drive 45 minutes to get the pumpkin. Bonus on that trip - I found Pillsbury crescent rolls. I've since found out that was a seasonal item. Space is a limited commodity so they choose carefully what products they carry. Sometimes it's just a matter of calling it something different like tomato sauce is tomato passata, squash is fruit juice.

We've made do with what they have in the stores and learned to enjoy some of their dishes too. I have to say we do miss our grits and we'd really like some banana pudding. I found this place outside of London that sells American food but not for the American price. (Remember, for every British pound it's $2 so we pay double for everything.) They do ship for free so that was nice. I was excited to buy cornsyrup for some pecan pie, Nilla Wafers to make banana pudding for AC's upcoming birthday, Graham crackers, Ranch salad dressing, Old Bay Seasoning for Gumbo and cornmeal for some Mexican dishes. (They don't do Mexican up here except what they call 'fagitas' and 'qua-za-dillas' - that would be fajitas and quesadillas.)

So, we're doing just fine - no one has lost weight over new foods. Since they consider french fries, jacket potatoes (baked potatoes) and mash (mashed potatoes) their staple - one of them is served with most everything even if you are already having pasta or rice. You get fries too. Kids like that.

Though I won't be shopping at the American food store often, it is a treat to have a few unavailable items that are a 'taste of home'.

Man's Best Friend...or not?

We had to leave nine year old 'Buddy' back in Augusta due to the crazy tax and fee assigned to the import of domestic animals and because our landlord wouldn't allow it. There were many tears shed during that good bye. Dennis, as you may know, was the most upset. Whenever we see a cute white fluffy dog, the children and I break out into our dog language remembering our little Buddy. Thankfully, he is happy and healthy with my mom which we are very grateful for. He is a great little companion, always so eager and ecstatic to see you.

Dogs are everywhere here; allow me to illustrate their place in society in Cumbria. The grocery store asiles tell a shopper what is important to the people of the land. The main two grocery stores here have a small floral section, a mini baking section with maybe four cake mix choices, 4 oz bags of chocolate chips (no other types of chips) two brownie mixes, some extracts and decoration type candies. You have a nice bakery, produce and meat dept. one side of an aisle for cereal, both sides of an aisle for juices and sodas, one and a half full aisles for wine, beer and liquor and then... the dog section, ranking just under the alcohol and drink aisles, it has one full aisle - both sides. Dogs are a big deal. They seem to treat them very well as you see them on the beach playing ball, tied up outside stores waiting for the owner to return. Dogs take a big commitment over here, bigger than we in Augusta were used to, at least at the Thompson household. It seems that most people have a dog whether they have a yard or not. This requires walking the dog several times a day to go to the bathroom. Keep in mind the leash laws are striclty enforced and you rarely see a stray. (I have yet to see one not attached to an owner except when chasing a ball on the beach) Okay, now remember it rains a good bit over here so that means rain or shine you walk the dog. None of this open the back door and let the dog into the fenced in backyard like we did at Regent Place. Dennis' personal favorite is the 'dog muck laws' where you are required to clean up after your dog while on your walk. Note the guy with the little black 'goodie' bag. Gag, don't open that. Instead place it in the dog doo-doo trashcan. How would you like that job? Dog-doo-doo sanitation physician. Ugh! So dogs rank high over here. Is it because dog is man's best friend?

Friends...the greatest of wordly goods

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with friendship." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Each of the five of us has experienced the rare gift of being delighted in, believed in and trusted on varying levels. Leaving those people was what made the move to England an opportunity that came with tears. We were tremendously blessed in the friend department. Thankfully, our friends at home have continued to love us and trust us through email, skype and phone calls but of course it's not the same, it can't be the same. Which means the five of us are starting over with people that are strangers and even foreigners to us. Graciously, we have all been the recipients of kind attention and invitations to get to know new people for which we are grateful.

"I find friendship to be like wine, raw when new, ripened with age, the true old man's milk and restorative cordial."- Thomas Jefferson

We are in the 'raw when new' phase of friendships over here. We've been here five months so the newness factor is fading - what you see in us is what you get and it isn't always pretty, fun, or thoughtful. For Julieanne, she has had to come to grips with the question of who she is as an American. We talk, act, and think differently from the British. This has come out in several ways but the most obvious is her newly acquired "British accent" Though this is great fun to use back in the States, here, Julieanne was donning it in order to fit in. (She is on the verge of adolescence so fitting in and not being different are primo) Dennis and I have noticed it and of course, Anna Catherine, who sees her at school all the time, witnesses this transformation daily. We've talked with her about her uniqueness and the fact that it is a good thing, not something to be dumped just because it is different. She chose to start the January term as an American so she talks like she always has except for the British vocabulary changes that are necessary.

Nathan is completely uninterested in the accent and has vehemently held on to promise that he will not 'get' the accent. His challenge lies in learning what it means to be a friend. When you homeschool you obviously have friends but you are not faced with it 8 hours a day so being in traditional school here has brought it to the forefront. Back home, he and buddy, Luke Willis, had gone through years of playing together a few times a week with some ugly relational moments we as parents helped them through but Luke was like a favorite pair of blue jeans. You know, you put them on and they just feel more comfortable than any pants you have; you're relaxed. The friendship was understood and appreciated. Over here, Nathan is having to do the hard work of 'being a friend in order to have a friend'. (Not that he and Luke didn't have to do that because they did but they already knew they were believed in and trusted. The foundation was there.) One of the boys in school that Nathan has liked most, has recently decided he really doesn't enjoy Nathan and is fairly verbal about it. Ouch. Nathan has apologized to him for arguing and trying to prove himself or 'one up' him which is an ugly issue in his life we are addressing. The boy continues to pull away which is quite obvious as they have been assigned to the same table all year. This is one of those pivotal life lessons Nathan must learn if he wants the sweet blessing of real friends in his life. He talks about it openly and we are praying with him about it but of course it is painful.

Anna Catherine is facing a similar issue as Julieanne but hers stems from her core values and relationship with Christ. She is having to dig deep to understand what she believes and why because it is quite apparent that she marches to a different drumbeat than her friends. Her friends are quite curious about the things that make her tick so she's had lots of moments to talk with them about this in response to their questions. She has constant invitations for social activities and has a small group of friends she really enjoys. While there have been tears over some of the many choices, she remains very open, affectionate and grateful towards us. Like the other two, she is learning life lessons.

For me, I am plodding along getting to know people one conversation at a time. I find myself in numerous new situations and environments each week, little is familiar. There are several gals I have enjoyed and appreciated as I've had initial conversations with them over coffee, a meal, in the schoolyard or after exercise class. It is just slow going of course but I expected that. Frankly, I'm okay with that. I know that over time we will get to know folks better. I have many avenues with which to meet ladies: both schools, church, exercise class, neighbors and the wives of the people on Dennis' team. I've struggled some with my friends back home moving forward without me or deepening relationships that I am not a part of. Honestly, I've had to work through feelings of jealousy so I too am learning life lessons.

Dennis is enjoying the relationships at work. The British seem to socialize more with their work mates than we seem to back in the States. Each week, we either have someone from work for dinner or go to some outing with them. There are 4 Brits, 4 Americans and 1 French on the management team with many Brits in supporting roles so he likes the flavor of the group. He's planning to go to the gym after work with one of the Brits named Paul a few times a week. As I shared with him my feelings on friendship he was sympathetic. He also shared how he has always planned to be replaced like at work training someone to take his job but realizing that we all bring something unique to a friendship that cannot be 'replaced' because it is our gift to bring. Still, as time has gone on he values his old friends back home more and more and desires to stay connected with them through the avenue of technology. He likens his friends to the ole pair of jeans - comfortable, relaxing. He could just be with them sitting around the fire, hiking, on a boat, throwing a frisby, playing bocce all without tons of 'work'. Like us, our friends bring a unique gift into our life as well which we are not seeking to 'replace'.

Some of our new friends: Chloe and Julieanne, Jordan and Na, Charlotte and Julieanne, Isla, AC and Molly

There are new people all around you, invite one over today in our honor or ask them out for coffee or 'tea'.

I'll end with a quote by C.S. Lewis the Willis family shared with us..."Friendship is the greatest of wordly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a Fire?"

Grammy Came!

Before going back to school from the holiday break, Dennis asked the kids what they enjoyed most about it. Nathan replied almost reflexively, "having Grammy here!" We all enjoyed having my mom here for two and a half weeks. A bit of home came to us through her and in her suitcase in the form of grits, Reese's, Twizzlers and some gifts I bought on line from the States.

"A child needs a grandparent, anybody's grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world." ~Charles and Ann Morse

Grammy happily listened to the kids talk - Thompson kids talk a lot, for some reason there's not really a quiet one in the bunch. She looked at pictures of their friends and events, read stories to Nathan, read her own books, cleaned up the kitchen which the girls were oh so happy about, helped with the laundry, watched movies with us, played games - just enjoyed being around seeing the good, the bad, the ugly and loved us all the while.

So glad you came, Mom.

Christmas Traditions

Christmas morning - can't you tell we just woke up? Traditions are important family heirlooms that we pass down to our children giving them a special family identity. Our traditions include the Christmas Eve service, appetizers and a present around the tree. We had arrived home from London on Christmas Eve around 9:00 so we missed the Christmas Eve service, there wasn't time to make appetizers so we enjoyed cheese fondue instead but we did open a present!

When Dennis and I first got married, we did not discuss our family traditions or holiday expectations ahead of time so when I expressed excitement about the gifts we would open on Christmas Eve, it was followed by the comment, "What do you mean open a present? We're not doing that, we wait until the morning."
(Gulp)"We always opened a present at my house."
"Well, that was your house." Hating confrontation as I do, I went up stairs in tears leaving Dennis and his family in the living room. Obviously, he came upstairs and we did have the important discussion on expectations and traditions and our Thompson tradition now includes a gift on Christmas Eve. Often, the kids give the gifts that they bought for the family which they are so eager to give.
Another tradition we have is to buy an ornament to symbolize the year or remind us of a trip we went on. After 20 years of collecting ornaments, we have more than can fit on the tree but each year we reminisce as we decorate. (Nathan dreads one ornament that we got before he was born that has a little person for the four of us that made up our family before he joined us in 1998. Often we find this ornament hidden in the back down low.) There are ornaments from trips to the beach, Grammy's 60th in Atlanta, skiing in New Hampshire with Dad and Margaret, a camping trip to the Grand Canyon, a doctor to symbolize Julieanne's year of hospital visits and doctor appointments when they were trying to figure out that she had reflux and asthma, ballerinas and Nutcrackers for Anna Catherine's life long pursuit of ballet, bikes and Hot Wheels to document those favorites of Nathans, and now we've added a Scottish bagpipe player and guard from Buckingham Palace. It would be great if I could show you these on the blog but as you can see from the picture, the tree was so dry it would barely hold the ornaments and came down right after Christmas so the ornaments are packed away. As you see, here are a few pictures I had in the computer from those eras.
Perhaps the tradition we will add after living in England will be Christmas crackers (see earlier blog) or mince pies. When our children are married, they will need to have that all imporatnt conversation on expectations and new family traditions. For now, we'll keep adding ornaments to the tree.