Friends...the greatest of wordly goods

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with friendship." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Each of the five of us has experienced the rare gift of being delighted in, believed in and trusted on varying levels. Leaving those people was what made the move to England an opportunity that came with tears. We were tremendously blessed in the friend department. Thankfully, our friends at home have continued to love us and trust us through email, skype and phone calls but of course it's not the same, it can't be the same. Which means the five of us are starting over with people that are strangers and even foreigners to us. Graciously, we have all been the recipients of kind attention and invitations to get to know new people for which we are grateful.

"I find friendship to be like wine, raw when new, ripened with age, the true old man's milk and restorative cordial."- Thomas Jefferson

We are in the 'raw when new' phase of friendships over here. We've been here five months so the newness factor is fading - what you see in us is what you get and it isn't always pretty, fun, or thoughtful. For Julieanne, she has had to come to grips with the question of who she is as an American. We talk, act, and think differently from the British. This has come out in several ways but the most obvious is her newly acquired "British accent" Though this is great fun to use back in the States, here, Julieanne was donning it in order to fit in. (She is on the verge of adolescence so fitting in and not being different are primo) Dennis and I have noticed it and of course, Anna Catherine, who sees her at school all the time, witnesses this transformation daily. We've talked with her about her uniqueness and the fact that it is a good thing, not something to be dumped just because it is different. She chose to start the January term as an American so she talks like she always has except for the British vocabulary changes that are necessary.

Nathan is completely uninterested in the accent and has vehemently held on to promise that he will not 'get' the accent. His challenge lies in learning what it means to be a friend. When you homeschool you obviously have friends but you are not faced with it 8 hours a day so being in traditional school here has brought it to the forefront. Back home, he and buddy, Luke Willis, had gone through years of playing together a few times a week with some ugly relational moments we as parents helped them through but Luke was like a favorite pair of blue jeans. You know, you put them on and they just feel more comfortable than any pants you have; you're relaxed. The friendship was understood and appreciated. Over here, Nathan is having to do the hard work of 'being a friend in order to have a friend'. (Not that he and Luke didn't have to do that because they did but they already knew they were believed in and trusted. The foundation was there.) One of the boys in school that Nathan has liked most, has recently decided he really doesn't enjoy Nathan and is fairly verbal about it. Ouch. Nathan has apologized to him for arguing and trying to prove himself or 'one up' him which is an ugly issue in his life we are addressing. The boy continues to pull away which is quite obvious as they have been assigned to the same table all year. This is one of those pivotal life lessons Nathan must learn if he wants the sweet blessing of real friends in his life. He talks about it openly and we are praying with him about it but of course it is painful.

Anna Catherine is facing a similar issue as Julieanne but hers stems from her core values and relationship with Christ. She is having to dig deep to understand what she believes and why because it is quite apparent that she marches to a different drumbeat than her friends. Her friends are quite curious about the things that make her tick so she's had lots of moments to talk with them about this in response to their questions. She has constant invitations for social activities and has a small group of friends she really enjoys. While there have been tears over some of the many choices, she remains very open, affectionate and grateful towards us. Like the other two, she is learning life lessons.

For me, I am plodding along getting to know people one conversation at a time. I find myself in numerous new situations and environments each week, little is familiar. There are several gals I have enjoyed and appreciated as I've had initial conversations with them over coffee, a meal, in the schoolyard or after exercise class. It is just slow going of course but I expected that. Frankly, I'm okay with that. I know that over time we will get to know folks better. I have many avenues with which to meet ladies: both schools, church, exercise class, neighbors and the wives of the people on Dennis' team. I've struggled some with my friends back home moving forward without me or deepening relationships that I am not a part of. Honestly, I've had to work through feelings of jealousy so I too am learning life lessons.

Dennis is enjoying the relationships at work. The British seem to socialize more with their work mates than we seem to back in the States. Each week, we either have someone from work for dinner or go to some outing with them. There are 4 Brits, 4 Americans and 1 French on the management team with many Brits in supporting roles so he likes the flavor of the group. He's planning to go to the gym after work with one of the Brits named Paul a few times a week. As I shared with him my feelings on friendship he was sympathetic. He also shared how he has always planned to be replaced like at work training someone to take his job but realizing that we all bring something unique to a friendship that cannot be 'replaced' because it is our gift to bring. Still, as time has gone on he values his old friends back home more and more and desires to stay connected with them through the avenue of technology. He likens his friends to the ole pair of jeans - comfortable, relaxing. He could just be with them sitting around the fire, hiking, on a boat, throwing a frisby, playing bocce all without tons of 'work'. Like us, our friends bring a unique gift into our life as well which we are not seeking to 'replace'.

Some of our new friends: Chloe and Julieanne, Jordan and Na, Charlotte and Julieanne, Isla, AC and Molly

There are new people all around you, invite one over today in our honor or ask them out for coffee or 'tea'.

I'll end with a quote by C.S. Lewis the Willis family shared with us..."Friendship is the greatest of wordly goods. Certainly to me it is the chief happiness of life. Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a Fire?"

Grammy Came!

Before going back to school from the holiday break, Dennis asked the kids what they enjoyed most about it. Nathan replied almost reflexively, "having Grammy here!" We all enjoyed having my mom here for two and a half weeks. A bit of home came to us through her and in her suitcase in the form of grits, Reese's, Twizzlers and some gifts I bought on line from the States.

"A child needs a grandparent, anybody's grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world." ~Charles and Ann Morse

Grammy happily listened to the kids talk - Thompson kids talk a lot, for some reason there's not really a quiet one in the bunch. She looked at pictures of their friends and events, read stories to Nathan, read her own books, cleaned up the kitchen which the girls were oh so happy about, helped with the laundry, watched movies with us, played games - just enjoyed being around seeing the good, the bad, the ugly and loved us all the while.

So glad you came, Mom.

Christmas Traditions

Christmas morning - can't you tell we just woke up? Traditions are important family heirlooms that we pass down to our children giving them a special family identity. Our traditions include the Christmas Eve service, appetizers and a present around the tree. We had arrived home from London on Christmas Eve around 9:00 so we missed the Christmas Eve service, there wasn't time to make appetizers so we enjoyed cheese fondue instead but we did open a present!

When Dennis and I first got married, we did not discuss our family traditions or holiday expectations ahead of time so when I expressed excitement about the gifts we would open on Christmas Eve, it was followed by the comment, "What do you mean open a present? We're not doing that, we wait until the morning."
(Gulp)"We always opened a present at my house."
"Well, that was your house." Hating confrontation as I do, I went up stairs in tears leaving Dennis and his family in the living room. Obviously, he came upstairs and we did have the important discussion on expectations and traditions and our Thompson tradition now includes a gift on Christmas Eve. Often, the kids give the gifts that they bought for the family which they are so eager to give.
Another tradition we have is to buy an ornament to symbolize the year or remind us of a trip we went on. After 20 years of collecting ornaments, we have more than can fit on the tree but each year we reminisce as we decorate. (Nathan dreads one ornament that we got before he was born that has a little person for the four of us that made up our family before he joined us in 1998. Often we find this ornament hidden in the back down low.) There are ornaments from trips to the beach, Grammy's 60th in Atlanta, skiing in New Hampshire with Dad and Margaret, a camping trip to the Grand Canyon, a doctor to symbolize Julieanne's year of hospital visits and doctor appointments when they were trying to figure out that she had reflux and asthma, ballerinas and Nutcrackers for Anna Catherine's life long pursuit of ballet, bikes and Hot Wheels to document those favorites of Nathans, and now we've added a Scottish bagpipe player and guard from Buckingham Palace. It would be great if I could show you these on the blog but as you can see from the picture, the tree was so dry it would barely hold the ornaments and came down right after Christmas so the ornaments are packed away. As you see, here are a few pictures I had in the computer from those eras.
Perhaps the tradition we will add after living in England will be Christmas crackers (see earlier blog) or mince pies. When our children are married, they will need to have that all imporatnt conversation on expectations and new family traditions. For now, we'll keep adding ornaments to the tree.