Dennis and I had this tell-tale moment which really captured our temperaments. We were celebrating our anniversary on God's amazingly gorgeous creation of the island of Kauai. 
It's the outdoorsy person's island of Hawaii - well preserved, no commercialism - stunning raw beauty. We went to this scenic spot and enjoyed the view but Dennis wasn't content to stand where the other 'tourists' stood - he wanted to venture out onto the rocks further down which required walking a path that required real shoes rather than the flimsy flip flops I was wearing. We finally got to the rocks - the only ones there; while I was standing back taking in the splendor, Dennis decided he wasn't done - there was still more adventure to be had - a better view still. 
He invited me to join him as he leapt toward 'his spot' while I stubbornly refused. Begrudgingly, I joined him for the picture where I'm looking all sweet and happy when really I'm just irritated with the notion that 'good enough' was up there and wasn't 'good enough' for Dennis. We had a heated discussion about his quest for the thrill, the prettiest spot, the most creative picture vs. my attitude of adventure tamed with what I would say was reasonablenss. W
hy this story? It's about enjoying the differences. June11 is our 20th anniversary and I celebrate the glory that God made Dennis different from me and though I'm often baffled and sometimes irritated with it...I love who he is! Dennis has the same twinkle in his eye that his dad has. It's mischief, adventure, surprise and delight all rolled into one. I am all too often content with 'good enough' but Dennis hungers for more; it pushes him to find the coolest picnic spot, the exhilerating bike ride, the scenic hike. 
C
onsider the way we ski, slow and steady wins the race for me but his eyes have to be watering and trees have to be flying by in order for him to be having a good ski. Same with the tube - he tries no hands even if it means being flung off while I safely take one hand off...restrained adventure.
Dennis sees God's creation as His glorious reflection, His gift to explore, enjoy, and savor! As I said on Dennis' birthday blog entry - he loves variety. What's the point of eating if you take out the fat, sugar and spices? Yet, in his love for variety - he has always loved just one woman and one woman who often settles for, 'good enough'. Wow - what a gift to me that he has stayed the course and taken the desire for adventure and better than 'good enough' into our marriage in a way that didn't require dumping me for someone more exciting, more satisfying, more____fill in the blank but invited me into the investment of the grand adventure of a sweeter marriage, a deeper relationship and more honest intimacy. 
I'd love to say that I have scaled walls to take him on in this most vulnerable of places in all of life but often I have selfishly protected what was 'good enough'.
Still, 20 years in, I love Dennis more and enjoy him far more than I ever used to even compared with the googley eyed bride smitten with him that I was at the altar. I think I'm getting better at letting go, it certainly is my desire for I know that all that self protecting limits the joy and depth of relationship.
Bud, thank you for an adventurous 20 years - they keep getting better! Looking foward to the remaining decades with you.
2 comments:
Thanks for posting this, Julie. What a realistic yet beautiful view into marriage. Thanks for your vulnerability and the commitment you both have made. Congratulations on 20 years! Here's to many more! :0)
Jenn
It was great to see all of you again. Sorry, I was able to spend more time with you, but I know you had a lot of people who wanted to see you.
The journal entry on 20 years of marriage should be mandatory reading...it was the true picture of what a marriage can be Congratulations!
I hope the driving test goes well, just be careful! Take care, and God-speed!
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