Marathon not a sprint

I used to think parenting was made of individual moments; short races you either won or lost but I was wrong. When the kids were little the training was endless from potty training, to walking, to safety, to obedience issues; it occurred all day long when you expected it and when you least expected it. It seemed that the kids would never spontaneously say 'please', 'thank you', 'yes, mam' or 'no, sir'; remember to use their napkin, look before crossing the street, honor someone as better than themselves, or put their dirty clothes and toys away without being asked. Somedays it seemed to wear me down showing little signs of progress but then there would be the occasional moment when they would surprise you by doing exactly as you had taught them without your prompting; what a great feeling of gratitude welled up inside thinking that possibly something was getting through. When potty training was discouraging a friend had shared the vantage point with me that she did not know any high school graduate that wasn't potty trained; it would happen, just remain patient and keep at it.

Recently I looked through one of the scrapbooks when the kids were ages one, four, and six. The Kodak moments that 'made it' onto the pages of family history reveal the fact that the days were full of the maintenance of life sprinkled with smiles and giggles amidst many fun moments. Pull out your photo album, I'm sure you'll feel the same sense of thankfulness for those fantastic days you spent reading the favorite storybook for the umpteenth time, carving pumpkins, playing dress up, making cool Hot Wheel tracks, listening to the tedious miracle of hearing your child sound out words, letting go of the bike without the training wheels, memorizing the multiplication facts, pushing the swing for what seemed like hours because they hadn't learned to 'pump' the swing on their own yet, and smiling at the "Elmer Fudd' sounding words they enthusiastically communicated. What about when you snuck a peak while they were playing or pretending on their own? Didn't you marvel at their sense of creativity in their own little world? Wow, what a precious gift to have a front row seat for that.

As the kids grew into pre teens there were new kinds of battles to walk them through, unchartered waters of letting them go slightly yet still holding on, instructing and guiding without being controlling. As we faced the new relational challenges I often came at it from the perspective that we had to come through each moment and then, 'whew, it was dealt with', done and dusted as they say in England. I was so wrong, it wasn't over or conquered; it was

just another leg of the long marathon. The end wasn't even in sight. We are in this race called life with our kids for the duration. It holds discouraging glimpses into their souls as well as our own but it also celebrates growth and grace. Just as God has been abundantly patient with us while we learn, He gives parents the privilege to love like He does. Obviously that is often what is discouraging for us when we face our short tempered ugly responses and demandingness knowing it is far from the lavish reality of how God parents us. Thankfully He doesn't roll his eyes in disgust as we flounder yet again; instead He encourages us with wisdom and truth before we go back out there again.

Dennis and I are in the marathon of our life, raising three flawed but great kids. The victories and failures are on a very small scale in the day to day mundane of life but we are trying to savor the moments of kids that are now eleven, fourteen, and seventeen.